Nameless
Its been a long time since i have been in this state and have had this feeling.
Ahhhhh, long silence with nothing in my mind. I dont know why i like it so much. It used to happen itself earlier on. This is the first time that i have gone into it myself, just half an hour of shutting my mouth and thinking nothing and i was there.
Now i want to write. Write something that i have wanted to but wasnt able to due to the noise within. Its gone now but for sometime.
Fears and concerns of the alien city are no more. I still remember how tough it was for me to come to islamabad this time. It was never this tough to leave my family, i dont know what got me this time. I felt like telling bhai to take me back home when he was driving me to the airport but didnt do that. All that i could remember of what i told ammi during a rather not so very warm conversation that we had had the other day. I couldnt belive that i said that.
"Main wahan par khush hoon" were the exact words "Wahan par yeh panchaatain nahin hain" I continued.
I reached the airport got my boarding and again got into thinking the same thing. Same was the senario during flying. My eyes were full of guilt, i knew that if i were on a train i would have got off at the next station. "To hell with my job" were the thouhgts which came next and in a matter of no time i was thinking how to stand by my decision in front of the company management let alone reconsidering it right now.
Alghough i didnt do that but i dont know what made to not to. I never knew that i was such an emotional person. Hyper, yes i am but this much emotional ? no not me.
The whole week was very tough, i called home almost everyday and things cooled up with time. It gave me chils when i thought about going abroad Pakistan. Man, how tough would that be for me !
Ahhhhh, long silence with nothing in my mind. I dont know why i like it so much. It used to happen itself earlier on. This is the first time that i have gone into it myself, just half an hour of shutting my mouth and thinking nothing and i was there.
Now i want to write. Write something that i have wanted to but wasnt able to due to the noise within. Its gone now but for sometime.
Fears and concerns of the alien city are no more. I still remember how tough it was for me to come to islamabad this time. It was never this tough to leave my family, i dont know what got me this time. I felt like telling bhai to take me back home when he was driving me to the airport but didnt do that. All that i could remember of what i told ammi during a rather not so very warm conversation that we had had the other day. I couldnt belive that i said that.
"Main wahan par khush hoon" were the exact words "Wahan par yeh panchaatain nahin hain" I continued.
I reached the airport got my boarding and again got into thinking the same thing. Same was the senario during flying. My eyes were full of guilt, i knew that if i were on a train i would have got off at the next station. "To hell with my job" were the thouhgts which came next and in a matter of no time i was thinking how to stand by my decision in front of the company management let alone reconsidering it right now.
Alghough i didnt do that but i dont know what made to not to. I never knew that i was such an emotional person. Hyper, yes i am but this much emotional ? no not me.
The whole week was very tough, i called home almost everyday and things cooled up with time. It gave me chils when i thought about going abroad Pakistan. Man, how tough would that be for me !
posted by MA at 11:40 PM
1 Comments:
in Isloo u adjusted in a week...abroad it mite be around a month or even less considering ppl r usually awestruck wid the difference in culture, adapting a new way of life etc
I guess, its all about priorities..family or work...once u choose either one..its easier to settle down wid the choice made
Post a Comment
<< Home